What the Heart Wants
by Shinylane1.2
Summary: "Castle is nothing more to me than just some annoying famous jackass with writers block. He's just a guy to me, nothing more." what happens when Castle hears Beckett say this? My take on how the season finale will go...
1. Not Even Eavesdropping

**Hey everyone! This is just my take on the season 2 finale. Castle's already hurt Beckett, but what if something happens, only it's Beckett that injures Castle's feelings for her? Those who are reading my other fanfic "The Puzzler", I'm still having difficulties adding another chapter, but it will be up ASAP- I haven't forgotten!! Please let me know what you think, whether or not I should continue, it would be lovely :) Thanks! Enjoy....**

Proud. In one word, Castle walked in proud. A large smile was spread across his face as he entered the 12th precinct with two Starbucks coffee cups. It had been automatic instinct for him to pick up a '_Grande skim latte_, _two pumps sugar free_ vanilla' and occasionally, a bear claw. However, over the course of a year, he'd discovered that the only time she really acknowledged a bear claw, was on Saturdays and Wednesdays. And considering it was a Thursday, he didn't want to risk an uneaten bear claw and a pissed off Beckett. The latte would have to do for now.

With the smile still shinning on his face, he made his way towards the murder board. Sure, the case was over and all, but the paperwork was always endless. And Castle's job wasn't done until the case came full circle- even if he only goofed around while Beckett tried to finish up the paperwork.

Esposito and Ryan were working diligently at their desks, although they were both snickering at each other. Their heads shot up in fear of Beckett's return, but as they realized it was only Writer Monkey, they laughed it off.

"Dude Castle, we thought you were 'you-know-who'." Ryan laughed as he referred to his 'kill joy' boss.

"What, are you watching porn? Cause I get inspired _very_ easily." Castle shuffled over to their computers only to find it bored with police files, "Damn, I got my hopes up and everything."

Ryan 's smile grew bigger as he saw the two cups of coffee in Castle's hands. "Is that for Beckett?" he asked, the slightest smirk creeping into his expression.

"Yes, yes it is. And where is the mistress, might I asked?"

"She's in the break room with _Demming._" He emphasized Beckett's new boyfriends name with a sultry voice, although it came out a little scarier than planned.

"Sorry bro," Esposito grimaced, "You can't pull that off like Beckett can." Ryan's eyes shown the least bit of witty hurt in them. "And Castle, I think she already drank her coffee."

"Darn!" Castle glanced at the coffee he'd gone out of his way to get, "Ah well, it's the thought that counts, eh?" Castle was satisfied when both detectives nodded hesitantly, "Well then I'll just slip by. I'd better prevent any fornication from taking place in that room. After all, people eat in there."

"Woah, woah." Esposito laughed, "Fornication? Why, are you jealous?"

"Jealous?" Castle scoffed, "Pf! Yeah right, I've got my own treasures in my sights." That couldn't be farther from the truth. The only woman in Castle's romantic eyes, was, in fact, the detective.

"Whatever you say." In the space of a sentence, Ryan's smirk had morphed suddenly to a mock.

"Gentlemen, I'm going to leave this conversation. I've got coffee to deliver." Castle protested, standing up from the computer with a proud posture just like he'd entered with. He even added a whistle as he skipped happily towards the break room. It was a good day to be happy.

**MINUTES EARLIER**

It had been a month since Kate Beckett and Tom Demming had been dating. Kate liked Tom too, more than any other guy she'd gone on a date with. Tom contained one of those rare personalities that just drew Kate into him. He knew her well, he always took her to her favorite restaurants and bars when they went out, and he always had a little surprised planned. Last week, he'd given her a gorgeous bottle of wine. Tom knew that Kate hated jewelry. She rarely wore anything else besides her mothers ring and her father watch- and he acknowledged that, respecting her privacy.

She liked that...

Only today- or possibly this entire week- Tom had seemed somewhat upset and agitated. Kate knew it was probably because she had to turn him down three times because of her case. She hoped to patch things up with a talk in the good ol' eavesdropping-proof break room. She poured him a mug of fine, fine coffee before preparing one for herself. Tom seemed to refuse to look her in the eye that morning.

"Are you okay?" She asked as casually as possible, "You seem a little... distracted."

Tom shrugged nonchalantly, yet with a hint of anger. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Kate went in for another attempt to get him to tell her what was up, "C'mon Tom. Talk to me, what's up. Are you mad because I didn't go on the date with you last week. 'Cause if that's it, I'm very sorry- this case was just difficult." When he said nothing she questioned, "No? That's not it? 'Cause if that's not right, then I'm out of ideas."

"I just..." he began, shoving the coffee cup in his mouth to muffle his voice.

"What?"

"I can understand being held up with a case, Kate. But whenever you turn me down, you're not just solving a case... you solving a case with _him_." Tom shivered.

"_Him?"_ Kate asked.

"Castle, Kate. You're solving a problem with Castle. And I'm your boyfriend. I just feel like he's stealing you from me."

Kate set down her coffee cup after hearing this, "Oh Tom. I didn't know. I promise that Castle and I are just partners."

"For now." He said under his breath.

"Tom, I didn't set up the situation with Castle and me. Captain Montgomery did. Castle is nothing more to me than just some annoying famous jackass with writers block. He's just a guy to me, nothing more." Kate said harshly, feeling a little guilty saying it. But she liked Tom too much to let it go.

"Promise?"

"Of course."

Kate glanced in the doorway to see the tip of a dress shoe creeping inside.

**SECONDS EARLIER**

Castle turned the corner, still whistling as loud as he could. He stopped shortly as he was about to reach the door. Maybe, if he was quiet enough, he could pop in the doorway and scream 'Boo!" and hopefully scare Tom and Kate. He laughed mischievously in his mind, hoping not to blow his cover. He still had a chance at scaring the shit out of his rival. Castle pictured Tom jumping, possibly dropping his coffee and he and Beckett would laugh. He inched further towards the doorway, as quiet as a mouse- quieter than he should've been.

He heard their voices quietly from where he was standing. The conversation seemed to be calm, although there was definitely some internal anger. He hoped to clear that with a good laugh.

"Castle is nothing more to me than just some annoying famous jackass with writers block. He's just a guy to me, nothing more." Castle heard Kate say.

The words stung more than anything else Castle had heard. He couldn't breathe, and the coffee in his hands nearly tipped over and spilled on the floor. He maneuvered his way to prevent the coffee from spilling, causing his foot to step in the doorway. His cover was blown.

"Castle?" he heard her say, and the only thing he could do would be to show himself. He hesitated, still aching from her words, but he moved in. Hoping to seem oblivious, he covered his pain with a cocky smile.

"Hey guys! Hows the coffee?" he asked as cheery as his sore emotions allowed him, "I got you some Kate, but I see you're good with the espresso machine."

Kate stuttered for a moment, regaining her take on the situations, "I uh..." she began, "Hey. How long have you been standing there?"

"Oh I just walked in haha." He chuckled, "But now that I think of it, I should probably get back home to Alexis, she needs me for... stuff. Here's your coffee you guys." he tossed the cups messily on the table. He couldn't have gotten out of there faster than he did. He literally booked it after that, trying to escape the memories of the precinct as he sprinted out for a cab.

_Castle is nothing more to me than just some annoying famous jackass with writers block. He's just a guy to me, nothing more._

Damn...

**Hope you liked it! This will be a short 2,3, maybe 4 chapter story. Just my take on the season finale. Please please review! Thanks so much for reading and have a great day!**

**~ShinyLane1.2**


	2. As if it's All Up To You

**Holy shnikee! Thank you all for you**r **kind reviews! My inbox was full, and for that I'm thankful. Oh, and one of the reviews was about the season finale air date. No, the season 2 finale airs May 17th- i just wrote my thoughts on how it would go. :) Another thing, I don't know when I'll be able to update because of freshmen finals. But I'm very good at getting side tracked from homework, so I'll probably get a chapter in there somewhere :)Anyways, I'll stop my blabbing so you can read. Enjoy!**

Waiting quietly in the elevator without Castle nearly drove her crazy. She'd gotten so used to him blabbing nonstop while they were forced into the confined spaces, but now, she was left alone with the thought that she may have just destroyed their relationship.

_Why the hell did she even say it?_

She couldn't even answer that. With hesitant footing, she made her way out of the elevator as it reached Castle apartment floor. His housing was just right around the corner, and she wanted to apologize more than anything. Her finger allowed her to delicately push the buzzer button and she waited impatiently for the door to open.

"Beckett." he said coldly, no expression on his face.

"Rick." So rarely did he call him by his first name. "We need to talk."

"About what?" he asked. His face looked hurt. Abandoned from civilization as if someone had the idiocy to dump him alone on a deserted island. Kate became furious at whoever had done it, but then she realized that that person had been her.

She smiled, but when he glared back, she became extremely embarrassed. "Can I come in?"

Castle rolled his eyes, opening the door, "Why not?" he turned around, walking towards the kitchen, leaving the door open for her to get in herself.

Kate walked in cautiously, looking around for further company. "Where's Alexis and Martha?"

"Gone." he stated rudely, pouring himself a glass of scotch.

"Oh okay. That's probably for the best. I need to talk to you in private."

"I'm listening, Beckett. So why don't you just get straight to the point."

She was shocked at how rude he was being, "OK, then. I know you heard what I said this morning, Rick."

Castle nodded, "It took you this long?"

"I just... came down to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Well, Beckett, I don't see anything wrong in saying things you mean." he was getting colder and colder by the minute.

"That's just it. I didn't mean it. I was just trying to get Demming off my shoulders. It was all just a lie to get out of a sticky situation." she really was sorry, it hurt her to see Castle so damaged by her words, "Can you forgive me?"

Castle walked out from behind the bar, taking a sip of his drink. "You know Beckett, I'm glad you stopped by. There are some things that I need to talk to you about." He sat on the bar stool, pointing to the couch that opposed the bar stool. It was like a quick draw fight, only, Beckett always pictured herself being the winner- now she was proven wrong. Castle had her to her knees, understandably too. "Please sit."

She moved over to where he'd instructed, although she was too afraid to sit. Her, afraid of Castle? This was a first.

"I get how annoying I can be. Did you know that?" he continued without letting her answer, "I understand that you have to babysit me sometimes, and that I don't always listen to you. In fact, I feel pretty shitty when I hear that I've let you down, or made you angry. But I try to fix that. I've been working hard to make sure that I'm not doing something wrong. And I don't know if you've noticed, but I've improved since we first met."

Kate nodded slightly.

"But you, ever since the beginning, you've said some pretty nasty things to me. Some of the worst, and I'm a superstar so I hear some bad things about myself. But whenever you say something that is completely out of line, I let you go. I say to myself 'Well Rick, you've probably done something that ticked her off. Therefore, you're to blame, it's not her fault. Shape up, you're lucky she has the patience to deal with you'. Only this time, after I heard you say that, I went through the past weeks thinking of things I might of done wrong. I did that just so I could satisfy myself knowing that it was my fault. I desperately wanted it to be my fault so that the words would be out of anger, and I could forgive you. But not this time, Beckett. This one's on you."

Kate felt the imaginary knife of guilt twist in her gut. She'd never seen him like this. She was the one to put him in these situation, but now she was in the hot seat. And it was more uncomfortable that ever.

"Rick, I'm so sorry, everything you're saying is true but I-"

"Detective, don't. Don't say anything unless you mean it. I'm sick of lies. So if you really meant that I'm just an annoying writer, than don't apologize. Be true to your word, because no matter how much it hurts, it's still the truth."

"I didn't mean it. At all." she was telling the truth- she couldn't even believe she'd said it, but it would impossible for anyone to let her go just like that. "I really am sorry. I don't even know why I told Demming that. I've known you longer, I've had more feelings for you. Demming probably isn't even the one."

"There you go again!" his voice raising as he set down his drink, some of it spilling out of the sides. "I don't want to hear whether Demming's the one for you or not! You're doing just what you did this morning! You're lying just to get out! I never would've thought you'd do that. Don't lie to me again, I'm not your damn trash bin. You can't dump your crap on me whenever you feel like it. If Demming's the one, than Demming's the one. There's nothing I can do about that."

Kate was beginning to feel sorry for herself, "C'mon. You can't say this is entirely my fault."

Castle laughed horrifically, mocking her. "That didn't sound like an apology to me."

"It's not an apology. It's a suggestion." she countered.

"Okay, fine! It's my fault! Is that what you want to hear? It's my fault, it's always my fault and you've never done anything wrong!""

"I didn't say that!" she was beginning to cry.

"Man..." Castle's tone quieted. "I always knew Nikki Heat was tough. I always knew that she was a hard catch, thick skin. But never did I think that she would be as conceded as you've proven."

Kate was getting weak, "Rick... please. Let's just put things back to the way they were."

He scoffed, "Back to the way they were? As if it's all up to you." He was taking her apart this time. Like a pro, she'd been the one to get people down on their knees to confess their mistakes, but now it was Castle.

"Please..."

"No, I think we need some time apart. Actually at this point, I don't really care if you don't need time apart, I do. I'm doing this for me." He walked over to the door, opening it, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Kate didn't move. Never had he been so enforcing. But there he was. demanding her out of his house. Kate was the victim now, she could nothing to turn the tables. It was her fault, and now she would be the one begging him to come back. It took her a moment before her legs functioned again, allowing her to finally walk out the door.

Kate had just experience a moment in Castle's shoes.

**I'm not sure if I got the characters spot on. My intentions were to show different sides of both of them that the show has not yet shown. We see Castle as the goof who is hilarious, but he's the one to usually fault. He'll make a mistake where he's the one to blame. Only now, I wanted to show him hurt, and not forgiving- a little like Beckett. And we see Beckett as the toughie who has to deal with Castle, and she's usually the one to forgive when he makes mistakes- She has to deal with him. But now, she's the one who's made a terrible mistake. So, basically, a little bit of character development there- hopefully I didn't over do it and still gave off a scent of the real characters. I do hope we see something like this on the show... anyways....Love you all and have a great day!**

**~Sarah  
**


	3. Not Bulletproof

**Ah the kind reviews made my Monday :) I'm glad most of you enjoyed this side of Richard Castle since it's such a different persona (I like it when he's funny and gets into trouble and all, I just wanted to demonstrate the 'what if's lol) Yes, very very different scenario that we aren't used to, but I have a feeling we'll get there. And don't worry, Castle was purposely harsh, he'll feel a little bad- BUT NOT TOO MUCH!!! hehe well thanks again (btw, did anyone see last episode when Castle walked in on Beckett and Demming's kiss? That just about broke my heart when he just walked away) for the reviews and Enjoy this chapter!!**

Kate was, at the very least, distracted. She had a whole pile of paperwork in front of her that Montgomery demanded at the end of her shift. Over two hours had gone by, and she hardly finished one report. On a normal day, she could finish three, possibly four reports in an hour.

Could the reason for her distraction be more obvious? Castle was on her mind, more than he'd ever been. Their last conversation had been so heated, she nearly lost it. His tone was so harsh, and what hurt her the most was that she hurt Castle to the point where a simple sorry would do nothing to patch things up. There was only one thing she could do, the one thing Castle couldn't in previous situations: she had to leave it alone. If Castle really meant what he said, then what he needed most was to be left alone. She wanted to respect that, more than anything at this juncture, but she felt so incredibly awful that she had said such a terrible thing.

Delicately, she ran her fingers through her hair, attempting to rid the stress. A familiar voice caused her head to snap up to Montgomery's office. There he was. Richard Castle. He was standing in the Captain's office with a coat folded over his hands. He and the Captain were chatting, appearing like they'd been for a while, when they suddenly shook hands. Castle began to leave the captain's office, but to Kate's surprise, instead of approaching her, he went straight out the door.

She waited until the door shut, trying not to appear desperate, before shooting in the air and running over the Montgomery's office.

"Sir? Can I come in?" she asked, knocking on the door.

"Yes, actually I was meaning to talk to you." he indicated that he wanted her to sit down. "That was Castle. He said he's going to take some time off. Well, actually, I'm not sure how much time he's taking off, he didn't specify. He just said he didn't know when he'd return, but he's got some important things that need tending. I don't know if you know what that means, 'cause I don't."

Kate nodded, "A little. Not so much though."

The Captain nodded, "And, because he told me it was crucial that I get it to you, he gave me this note to give to you. I didn't read it." he said, handing her a neatly folded piece of paper.

Kate took it between her index finger and thumb, too nervous to open it.

With great caution, she unfolded it as slowly as her trembling hands could. Written in bold, black, capitalized ink, was a handwritten note. It read:

_Ms. Beckett,_

_I suppose you've heard the news that I'm going to take some time off. I wanted to apologize if I hurt you last night during out discussion, that was never my intention. I just meant to get a simple point across, and I can only hope you understood. I would, however, appreciate your cooperation over the time I'm gone. I strive to think that our contact should remain at a minimum, as I'm not sure I want to make any appearances at this point until I'm satisfied with my time. Thank you for allowing me to 'shadow' you this past year and three months, and I hope you understand why things got the way they did last night.  
_

_Professionally yours,_

_~Richard Castle_

Kate's eyes were beginning to well up with tears, but she tried her hardest to force them from the surface. The last thing she needed was another 'bro' on her case for what she said. Carefully, she folded the note back up and put it in her pocket, nodding slightly to the captain.

"Thank you sir." she said, standing up. Montgomery gave a somewhat sad smile, and she made her way to the door.

"And, Beckett?" he called her just as she clipped the corner of the wall, "We're not bulletproof." he stated without regret.

"Sir?" she played dumb.

"I know how much you've put up with Castle, and I know he appreciates it just as much as I do, but guys can only take so much. I'll leave it at that, I just didn't know if Castle's sudden exit was because of something between the two of you." he didn't question, he just demanded.

Without answering a question that remained unasked, Kate nodded again, "Yes sir." she walked out.

**Lanie and Kate at the Bar**

"Hey girl!" Lanie met up with Kate at O'Carroll's bar, "How's my Katie?"

Kate stood up, giving her perky friend a hug around the waist, "Not so good, Lanie." she answered sheepishly.

Lanie pulled away, studying her friend's eyes, "Baby, what's going on?" Kate pointed to the seat for the two of them to sit down.

"It's Castle." she said blankly. Lanie's eyes seemed to liven up.

"Writer boy? You guys finally gettin' in on?" she giggled. Kate turned down the smile that so longingly tugged at her lips, but let her face tell Lanie a thousand words. "Not so much? Girl what happened?"

"He's leaving..."

"Leaving? Leaving what?" now Lanie was playing dumb.

"The precinct. Leaving me."

"Why? Castle doesn't seem like he would just _leave_ without a reason for it." Lanie was more observant that Kate had credited.

"I said something that he heard."

"Oh no, baby, what did you say?" she asked.

"Well, Tom was on my ass about Castle, and so I just said that Castle and I weren't a thing." Lanie gave her a suspicious look, indicating that Kate wasn't telling the entire truth. Kate rolled her eyes, "Okay. Maybe I said he was an annoying jackass with writer's block." she said under her breath.

"WHAT?!" Lanie nearly screamed, causing a couple of drunken men to look tastefully at them. "What the hell were you thinking?! Why would you say something like that to him?"

"He wasn't supposed to hear it! It was just meant for Tom to hear, and Castle just happened to hear it!"

"Oh so Castle wasn't even supposed to hear it? Now he's thinking you say bad stuff about him and mean it girl!" Lanie was screaming in a whisper.

"I know that already! I tried to apologize but he just got cold." she explained.

"Oh god, I need a drink." Lanie took a large sip of her alcohol packed drink. "What did he say?"

Kate hesitated, she really didn't want someone else against her, "He said 'this one's on you, Kate'. And that he always forgives me when I say bad stuff to him because he convinces himself that it's his fault. Only now, he can't do that. I really tried to patch things up with him, only the man who was yelling at me last night wasn't Castle. I don't know who it was, but I've never seen him like that. I was scared."

"Was he yelling at you? Or about the words?"

"I not sure. He was just... upset. He said he wasn't my damn trash can."

Lanie nodded, "Girl...."

"Please don't hate me too, I've got enough of that."

"Well, honey, you can't expect him to forgive you right now. Remember how many tissues you went through when he opened your mom's case?" Kate nodded, "Well, when he did that, he was just trying to help, and even though it hurt, it still helped you guys catch Jack Coonan. He probably feels the way you did right now, most likely worse. So cut him some slack. All he wants is to please you."

Kate took another sip of her water since she as still on duty. "Damn..."

"Katie, I know I've said this before, but he likes you. No, he adores you. We all see it, everyone at the precinct can see your banter starting to go somewhere- the only one denying it is you. Hell, Castle willingly admits it, he knows your chemistry, so when he found out that you think he's just a nobody to you, that's worse than being turned down. He was just as shocked as we were when you started going out with Tom, but he decided to leave you alone. You gotta admit, Kate, he'd never aY something like that to about you."

She was spot on right, and Kate knew it.

"Then what do I do?" she asked quietly.

"You let him decide. If he's really going to leave, then you have to let him... let him do what he wants to do to get through this. You don't want to go crawling back to him. Give him time, and things will work out." Lanie instructed. Kate nodded, trying not to cry. Lanie must've sensed this, because she moved in gracefully, embracing her friend in a greatly needed and appreciated hug.

But Kate knew all too well that things don't just 'fix' themselves...

**Hope you enjoyed it :) Please review with your comments- compliments and criticism greatly appreciated :) Thanks for reading! Love to all, and enjoy your day... oh, and just a question, do you think I should have this fic be completely Beckett's POV, or should I throw in some Castle too? Thanks again!  
~Sarah **


	4. Puppets on Strings

**Hola!Thanks for all of the reviews! I got kinda mixed messages about whether or not to add Castle's POV too, it was 50/50 so I decided to just add in this little bit... enjoy!**

**Rick**

Rick had gotten up extra early the morning after telling Montgomery that he was leaving the precinct. He'd done so because he wanted to take Alexis to school. Make it a special morning, just the two of them. Although, she had already made plans to have Owen pick her up so they could go to Starbucks. Knowing that he couldn't be involved in her every move, he shrugged it off and continued with the rest of his morning. It seemed everyone had love but him.

He hadn't been feeling much of anything the past couple of days. His emotions were bare, and all he wanted to do was lay on his bed and do nothing. That was unusual. Castle was a man of great energy, he had to be occupide or he would go crazy for sure. _Maybe this is what going crazy feels like_. He thought to himself. The shoe fit, too.

He sat down at his desk, staring at the empty word document on his computer. He was way past the deadline for his second Nikki Heat novel 'Naked Heat', and yet, he didn't know what to do next. His mind was lost for Nikki Heat, he didn't know what to do with her.

Who was Nikki Heat? Castle couldn't even answer that anymore. Despite the fact that he had created her, he really didn't know what kind of person she was. He thought he knew, but she'd shown him wrong. Nikki was just a cop now, a detective who didn't have time to romance with newspaper columnsits. Her purpose was strictly buisness. Castle had only written that little love affair out of his own wishes. But could he really have been so wrong?

After sitting there for twenty minutes, just boggling at the screen, he finally typed in:

_"Nikki looked Rook deep in his eyes, studying his face. She didn't want to see him anymore, she didn't care. With one stroke of her hand, she tidied his hair behind his ears._

_'Rookie,' she spoke softly, 'I don't have time for jackass's like you. All I want is to be alone with Schlemming. Just me and him.' "_

After rereading it, he knew he had to erase it. His readers would hate him if he'd published it that way, expecially since their love and faith was definitely bet on Rook and Heat. If only it was that way in reality. If only fact could collide with fiction--

**Kate**

Kate was reading page 105 in 'Heat Wave'. It wasn't her second time, either. Since she'd first read it, she'd pondered the excellence of the piece. She'd probably read it close to seven times now. Before publication, she would've taken that scene out completely and replaced it with banter. But now, she couldn't help but reminice about how it had all been just days before. This scene defined the book, it defined Castle's talents.

"Heat led Rook wordlessly into her bedroom" her eyes burned with desire as she read all the way up to the very end. Over and over, she read it so many times that she could probably recite it. He was truly a good writer. There was no doubt. That steamy scene wasn't only sultry, but also beautiful.

_Well, that's just a result of Castle's over active imagination..._ she once called it. If only she could take those words back. It was reality, all of it. She'd just been to naiive to admit that there was something between them. She wanted to say it was Castle who hadn't hinted to her that they should get together, but he'd done it more than once.

The red dress, the return of her father's watch, the espresso machine, saving her life more than once- all which had been done because he cared for her.

He had run like a madman in the streets, trying to warn her that Ben Conrade wasn't the killer, because he was the only one who wanted to be sure she was safe. And even though her apartment had still exploded, he'd given her the warning to jump into the bathtub. He'd also knocked down the door, despite the fire, smoke and dangers, just to make sure she was okay. And on top of that, he didn't peek at her naked while she was changing, just because she'd told him not to.

How could she have ignored everything for so long?

"Kate?" a familiar voice startled her from her thinking. Tom stood gallantly above her smiling. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, offering a hand to help her up.

Ready to go? Go where? Oh yes, she and Tom had planned a date that evening at Little Holly's since they shared the love of chinese food.  
"Yes, just let me get my things and I'll meet you in a little bit."

"So do you like the Pad Se Yue?" Tom questioned, taking a bite of his dumplings.

"Yes, it tastes very fresh." she couldn't help but think about how Castle had brought her Italian, Thai, Susi, and hotdogs all in one day just because he didn't want to get her the wrong thing.

"Are _you_ okay?" he asked, similar to the way she had asked him.

If no one else was there to listen, she had to tell Tom, "Tom, Castle heard what I said to you. About him being an annoying jackass. He heard it, that's why he left."

Tom stared at her blankly, "And?"

"And? Well he left because I said something horrible. I feel terrible."

"Listen, Kate. I like Castle, he's a cool guy, a smart one too. But he just needed to hear the truth. The truth isn't bad. Even if it's not the nicest thing, you can't hide it."

Kate hesitated, "Yes, but Tom, I didn't mean it. I don't think that Castle is an annoying jackass novelist with writer's block. I don't think I've ever thought that way about him. I just didn't want you to feel like we were doing something."

Tom looked her straight in the eye. Threatingly, he set down his plate on the table, "Kate, do you and Castle have a thing going on?" Kate was about to continue when he interupted her again, "Do you feel something for Castle?"

Kate was fresh out of lies, she was feeling truthful now. "I'll always feel something for him, Tom. He's done so much for me. He's saved my life more than once, he helped me solve part of my mother's murder. I can't just condone all of that."

"Do you love him?" Tom said in a whisper as if he were afraid of the words.

Kate paused. That was a good question, "I don't know. I've realized that I've looked over some of the things that I should've paid more attention to. I'm not sure who I love at this point."

Tom looked hurt, "Kate, I really like you. I think you're a brilliant woman. But I could never stand to be sloppy seconds. You need to decide who you want to be with, me, or Castle."

"Tom..." she started, but he stood up suddenly.

"Figure it out, and let me know. But I don't want to stand here and be your puppet while you ponder what could've been." he said all of this politely, without yelling, unlike Castle. He gave her a slight nod, and bent down effortlessly to give her a simple kiss on the cheek.

Both men had walked out on her now. Both Castle and Demming- and now she was left with no one to lean on, and one hell of a decision...

**I hope you enjoyed. That's probably the only little snippet of Castle that I'll have, I just thought I owed it to you guys to give you somewhat of an explanation to what he's up to. Please tell me what you think by reviewing! Love ya'll bunches and have a good day!**

**~Sarah**


	5. Hello?

**Killer episode. A great season finale but I HATED the last three minutes. So freakin' sad! I'll never be able to wait until September! Anyways, after watching that, it was really hard to come up with a new chapter because I kept getting the image of Castle walking away from poor Beckett. And I get that it's kinda like what I thought, but at the same time it kinda messed me up cause I was gonna go in that direction with Castle already have moved on. Tell me if you think I should change it up or leave it that way. I hope you enjoy and thanks for all of the kind reviews!**

"Claudia Benthem. 16, four knife wounds to the chest, contusions on her left forearm, and left thigh. A jogger caught a glimpse of her hair, called about an hour ago." Ryan informed, shaking his head at the crumpled body of a once beautiful teenage girl, her hair now folded over with an ugly smear of blood. It was unnecessary for her to be killed that way, there was barely even a struggle, "Lanie said she was dead after the second stab- bastard didn't even need to keep going." Ryan looked over to see Beckett looking at the ground, directly away from everything she needed to pay attention to, "Hello?"

Her head snapped up, looking at Ryan's confused face and she at once realized her mistake, "Ah, I'm sorry. Could you say that again?"

"Why? Are you a little... Castle distracted?" he teased. Esposito laughed, when Lanie shot them both a look of pure evil, forcing their smiles off their faces.

"Not cool, bro." Esposito shook his head as it offended.

"Looks like she's been here for a while." Beckett noted, attempting to draw herself into the chaos.

"Actually, no. She's was killed about three hours ago." Ryan corrected under his breath. Kate's face began to turn red. She was wrong-

"Oh... well I can see that now." she defended. She glanced at her phone- completely willing to call up Castle now, to invite him straight over to the scene of the crime. Montgomery didn't require it now, she was prohibited to call him, but now she really wanted to. It wouldn't be hard too, he was number three on speed dial. "Okay, see if we can get her prints into the system and figure out who she is. Then see what she was doing out here." Kate began to walk away when Esposito stopped her.

"Uh, Beckett..." he started, "We already know who she is... remember? Claudia Benthem? We told you when you first came."

Kate was loosing it. She nodded slightly, completely embarrassed as they head back to the precinct.

Kate stared at the empty seat perched by her desk. It hadn't been there before. A little over a year ago, it was just an lonely piece of ground, someone had purposely moved it there for a resting place. She would've been just fine if it had never been put there, but now that it had been filled for such a great amount of time, it was like a bad memory. The chairs lacking of inhabitance is what was driving her nuts.

She stood up suddenly, wanting to get out of there as fast as she could. The greatest escape place was the coffee room- she could clear her mind with a cup of coffee.

Heading over there, she heard his voice ringing in her ears

_What? Do you have something against foamy richness? He asked, delicately pouring creme into his espresso._

_Yeah... it annoys me._

She sharply turned the corner directly into the room when she bumped into a well defined chest. A bit startled, she looked into the face of the collider to attempt an apology. It was Tom. Damn it all to hell, it was Tom.

"Tom" she forced out, surprised to see him.

"Kate." he seemed just as surprised as she was, "I'm sorry, I came it for an espresso, we can't get enough of it now... I didn't know you'd be here."

"Naw... I didn't see you there. Here... I'll..." she began, not knowing what to say. She was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time- AGAIN.

Tom was handsome. He was everything she ever wanted. Castle was nothing she wanted in a man, so why was this decision so hard?

"I hope you given some thought to the decision."

"Yes... of course." she nodded, "I'd better get back to work. I'll see you late, Tom." she gave a sad smile before speeding out, without the cup of coffee she'd gone in to get.

As she headed back, she noted Ryan and Esposito just coming in from the doors. Lunch break finished twenty minutes ago- nothing bothered Kate more than someone who was late.

"Where have you two been?" she scowled, as if their mother.

As soon as they got in, their smiles vanished- they had been caught. "Nowhere." Ryan replied, a little guilt present in his eyes.

"Mhmm." she nodded, "Sure. Esposito, where did you guys go?" she pressed on.

"Nowhere." he echoed. "We just got caught in traffic from the Wendy's. Sorry."

She walked over to their desks. "There are many things I won't tolerate, lying being at the top. You guys know that, and you also know, that I'm trained to get the truth out of people. So why don't we just save ourselves some time, and you tell me what's going on."

Ryan and Esposito exchanged glances before shugging off the fact that she was winning. "We went to O'Carroll's bar with Castle to play pool. That's all." Ryan choked out.

Kate froze. She had hoped at the very least that Castle would relinquish his presence from everyone at the precinct, not just her. But now, he was taking her detetctives out of kiddy dates.

"With... Castle?" she asked, not needing a repeat.

"Yeah." Ryan gave a defeated nodd. "He invited us to go this morning."

She bobbed her head, condoning their absence. "Okay..." she retreated back to her seat, sitting down and attempting to look over paperwork. Needless to say, her attempts were failing.

_How could he completely shut me out like that?_ Kate questioned. She knew she had made a terrible mistake, nobody needed to tell her that. She'd even felt incredibly low for making it, trying to fix it with appologies. It wasn't okay for him to tell her to stop appearing in his life, yet he proceeded in affecting hers.

This had gone on for so much longer than needed. This was ridiculous. She was going to go over and talk to him, whether he liked it or not...

it would only be fair that she got her word in too.

**Sorry for the delay, summer started hectic. HUGE apologies, there's going to be another two week delay, either after this chapter, or the next one. I'm going on vacation to Kenya to assist an orphanage for two weeks, and I'll try to post one more chapter before I leave on Saturday. Apologies apologies! Thanks for reading, and reviews are GREATLY apreciated :) Love you all, and I'll post ASAP! Have a fantastical day!**

**~Sarah 3**


	6. Loser

**Thanks for the reviews :) posting this just an hour before heading to the airport, and then I'll post in two weeks! This is the final chapter, it's what I would've guessed the season finale would've been- and so this is my ending to season two. If really necessary, I'll continue, although I think it's great to see how the writers put them together. Enjoy! please tell me if you think I should leave it at this or not...**

Kate made her way up the stairs to his apartment. She had neglected to use the stairs simple because she wanted to avoid running into him as he left. As crazy as it sound, considering she was there to meet with him, it made sense to her not to use the stair. As she reached his floor, she was beginning to ponder the idea of her going there at all. He did, in fact, make it clear that she was not to see him. And Beckett of all people didn't want to appear desperate for her 'shadow'. But it didn't seem fair to her for him to talk nonstop and then shun her out of HIS life without a word. She probably would've ignored it too, had he not continued to mingle with the others at the precinct. Inviting Ryan and Esposito out for pool... that was low.

She shuffled up to the door, so rarely did she 'shuffle'. Kate brought her hand up to the door, slightly tapping it with her fingers. Loud enough to be hear, yet no emotion was indicated. She wanted this to be a civilized affair, unlike their last conference. She heard footsteps approach the door, and the knob twisted suddenly before the door was jerked open. Kate was expecting to see Castle, but instead, it was Alexis.

"Detective!" she said with a cheery smile, "How are you doing? Please, please, come in." she cordially invited in the detective.

Kate hesitated a moment, "Good evening, Alexis. I was wondering if you dad was available?" she tried to give a smile without making it appear forced.

"Yes, of course, please, come in."

Kate nodded, finally stepping in once again to the "Bat Cave". It was spotless, as usual, very stylistic. She could hear Alexis in the distance inform her father that she as there. Castle walked out, wearing a casual t-shirt and jeans. He looked as if he hadn't shaved in a day.

"Hello Rick." she acknowledged his entrance.

"Ms Beckett." he replied. That stung more than a lot of the stuff he'd said before. He was now formally addressing her, no more of his 'Beckett' that she loved so much.

"I was wondering if we could talk, that is, if you're okay with it." She asked.

"I'm guessing you didn't get my note."

"No, I did."

"The one that said specifically that I enjoy my privacy?" he asked.

"Sure did. I wanted to say a few things."

Castle bobbed his head and shrugged, "I don't see why not. You want something to drink?" he offered a finger directed towards the kitchen.

"No thank you." The steam was clearly off his chest. Maybe now their conversation would be less heated. "I just wanted to say a few things that I didn't get to say before."

Castle sat down, silently offering her a chair, "I want to apologize for that night, I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I'm sorry."

Kate nodded again, satisfied that they were both seeing to reason now, "Thank you. I want to you to know that everything I said to Demming was a complete lie, I even told him that. He knows that I don't think that way of you. And I know that a simple apology won't mend everything I've done, but that's not all I'm here for." she paused waiting for his approval for her to proceed.

"Go on."

"I think it was wrong of you to take Ryan and Esposito our for pool today. I understand that you wanted privacy, but you can't just expect me to withdraw myself from yours if you're going to keep affecting mine. Are we on the same page?"

Castle gave a hesitant nodd before replying, "I told them not to tell you they were with me. You can't expect me to control them, besides, their my friends too. I don't just go to the precinct for you. I have friends, I hope you realize that."

Kate tried not to glare. "Well, I also don't think it's fair for you to decide when you get to leave. You dropped yourself in the middle of my life, complicating every damn thing- you have no idea how much grief I get from other cops because of your little arrangement. And now you're just erasing yourself from the precinct. That's totally unfair."

"I thought you wanted me gone. I thought that you thought badly of me..." he was tormenting her now, and he was also clearly enjoying it.

"I did..." she said the words before she could avoid them. Damn, she just blew her cover, "Well, I, um... I just don't think it's right for you to control how you damage my life."

"So you're saying you do enjoy my company." He teased, a smile starting to pull at his lips.

Kate took a double look, "Don't toy with my like that! You can't just act like you're the innocent one and that I've done everything wrong."

Castle rolled his eyes, the first eye roll she had seen from him, considering it was usually her displaying her annoyance, "I thought we've already been over this. I told you that I know I make mistakes. What's different about this one is that you aren't sorry. You want Demming, I can see it in your eyes, and I can't stop you from getting what you want- everybody knows that."

"I ended it with Demming." she blurted out another lie.

Castle stopped, "You what?"

"I told him that I still had feelings for you."

_How the hell was he getting her to spurt her feelings?_

"Really?" Castle was blushing.

"Well, not really. He guessed it, and now I have to decide between you two."

Castle's patients were coming to an end, "Detective, I don't want to be on your roster any more. I don't want to wait for you to pick and choose- I've moved on from that. The precinct is just a fountain of inspiration for me now. I've got friends there, people who respect me. You go and live in your happy world with Demming, have little Demming babies. Although I do have to say that Castle babies are better."

Kate stopped talking just to think. She had to decide now. If she didn't say Castle, he could be gone forever, and truth be told, their partnership meant more to her than her and Demmings little flick. It wouldn't last- Castle had done so much for her, and she wanted him to stay.

"You don't have to wait for me to decide, Rick." she began, hesitating.

"Why's that?"

"Because I've already decided. I want you over Demming. I'm so sorry that I've overlooked everything all this time, it's you I should've been considering."

Castle gazed deep into her eyes for a moment of complete silence. Neither one of them said anything until Castle looked down at the ground, "Beckett... I've given you plenty of opportunities, and I can only take so much. It pains me to say this, it really does, but I don't know if I want this anymore. That's why I wanted time away, to suss out everything that's gone on. I used to crave it, but the flair is just gone now. I think we're off in separate directions."

With those words, Kate was completely embarrassed. She had just admitted her love for him, something she thought he'd been waiting for. And now he was turning her down? Had she really just lost him?

**THE END?**

**I think that's going to be the end, unless you guys think it's unfair- which I totally get. I was just thinking it would be cooler to see how the writers put this together since they know the characters better than me. Either way, you reviewers decide. Thanks for reading, and I hope you all have a great two weeks. I'll be looking forward to read your feedback when I return. Love you all!**

**~Sarah**


	7. Sway

**Okay, I think I made more enemies than fans from that last chapter! Just kidding, but I can see that quite a few of you were less than pleased with my ending. I want you guys to know, I'm totally Caskett- I would love to write a story for them ending in 'and they lived happily ever after', but this was just one of those stories that I thought required more mystery and surprises. So, this is for the ones who wanted more of a conclusion, which I totally understand :)**

**Those of you who liked it the way it was, you don't have to read it- whatever you want :) okay, here it is.**

Kate had debated the topic for hours. She paced around her apartment, considering every possible side of the past two days. Maybe she was still wrong to try to force things back to the way they were. Or perhaps, it was Castle's turn to fault by letting her go so quickly. Her pacing continued as her mind raced like a tape running over and over without an end. Finally, she concluded that they had both made their mistakes, and she stood silently in front of her bathroom mirror, staring back at her reflection of an insulting look.

She wanted things back the way they were- she realized that none of this would've happened if she had just kept her mouth shut. But still, the next time she saw Castle, she would not go easy on him- he too had made his fair share of mistakes, and it was his turn to pay.

That's when Kate Beckett heard a subtle knock at the door. She tried to read it- it seemed eager, as if someone had rushed over to get to the apartment. Cautiously, she made her way to the door, wishing she had a peep hole to see who was calling her at this hour. She opened the door to see Richard Castle standing there, a distressed look on his face.

Her eyebrows furrowed, and she gasped silently, not expecting his presence. "Kate..." he exhaled, looking deeply sorry.

"Castle?" she asked, wondering if that really was him standing there. "What are you doing here? It's like, 2:30 in the morning."

"Well, I hadn't been insulted in a while, and I needed a fix." He tried to lighten the mood with an innocent smile. She dodged it, and her cold face remained. His soon morphed into embarrassment. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah... my landlady doesn't allow me to keep trash in the hallways." She quipped, feeling somewhat proud. She wanted him to know that she was no longer vulnerable. He had to pay for what he said, just like she had to pay for what she had said.

"There's my fix." he said under his breath without a smile as he stepped into her apartment.

"What do you want?" she asked, knowing exactly what he wanted. She thought letting him burn for a while longer would be best.

"I came by to apologize."

"Really? I didn't know Richard Castle was capable of apologizing." He gave her a look of pure sorrow that made her think of the night that he had roasted her, and how horrible she had felt. She had done it so many times to him, and she didn't have the hate to do it again. "I'm sorry." She apologized under her breath.

He nodded, although he didn't seem surprised. At least he had accepted that they both were at fault. "Me too. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to, I was just so upset. Everything has been going straight to hell, and I lost it. And I could sit here and say that you pushed me over the edge, but it would be another lie, and I think we've both lied enough."

Kate bobbed her head up and down, "I'm sorry I lied to your back, and I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. I see now how shitty it was for me to do that. I just lost it with Tom, and I thought that lying was the only way out. But still, Castle, you hurt me last night. It felt like someone slugged me in the freakin' gut. I don't know if I can feel the same again."

"Can't say I really blame you. I was feeling that way a few nights ago, and then I realized that you're too good to for me. And I know that you do so much to put up with me, and I want you to know that I appreciate everything. You truly are extraordinary. And I don't want to waste that."

Castle approached her, and the butterflies in Kate stomach began to stir. He took his hands out from his pockets and reached for hers for a handshake.

"I think we should just keep it as friends for now."

She willingly nodded, taking his hand to complete the second half of his handshake. "I think that sounds great."

He smiled a smile of relief, "And I know that I hurt you, and that it won't heal fast. So if you need time away, I'll understand."

Kate shook her head immediately, "No. I think we've had enough of that. I think it's time for us to just get back to being the crime fighting duo."

"Yeah, the 'crime fighting duo. She's armed, he's dangerous." He said with an announcer's voice.

She let out a rare giggle that only he had gotten her to giggle. "I'll see you tomorrow at the precinct?"

"Absolutely." He let go of her hand and began walking out the door.

A smile spread across Kate's lips as she watched him descend out the hallway.

**Better? I hope so. If not, I made it so the last chapter would fit straight into the season three premier and you can see if you like the way the writers put them together better :)**

**thanks for reading, and I really hope you guys like this ending more- while it's not the complete ending where they get together, but I think we can all infer that it's gonna happen, and I CAN'T WAIT! :)**

**Have a great day, and thank you all!**

**~Sarah**


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